In short: 26 weather jokes for dads, from rain and wind to snowmen and the British barbecue, all from the joke of the day in the Weather for Dads app. Clean, short and guaranteed to get a groan.
What did one raindrop say to the other?
Two's company, three's a cloud.
How do you know it's raining cats and dogs?
You step in a poodle.
Why did the umbrella get promoted?
It always covered for everyone.
What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle.
What do clouds do when they get rich?
They make it rain.
What do you call a month's worth of rain in Britain?
A Tuesday.
What do you call a wet bear?
A drizzly bear.
What does a cloud wear under its raincoat?
Thunderwear.
Why is Britain so wet?
Kings and queens have been reigning there for centuries.
What do you call two sunny days in a row in Britain?
A heatwave.
Why did the sun go to school?
To get a little brighter.
What's the opposite of a cold front?
A warm back.
Why does lightning shock everyone?
It doesn't know how to conduct itself.
What's a tornado's favourite party game?
Twister.
Why don't you see clouds in prison?
Lightning always makes a bolt for it.
What did the wind say to the washing line?
Don't get your knickers in a twist.
How do hurricanes see?
With their eye.
Why did the windsock never get anything done?
It just went whichever way the wind blew.
How does a snowman get to work?
By icicle.
What do snowmen have for breakfast?
Ice Krispies.
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
Why did the dad bring a ladder to the barbecue?
He heard the burgers were on the house.
What did the sausage say to the barbecue?
Let's not turn this into a grilling.
I tried to catch fog yesterday.
Mist.
What's the difference between weather and climate?
You can't weather a tree, but you can climate.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
The best weather joke is the one dads groan at hardest, so we let them vote: every day's joke in the app is rated, and the top one each week wins on Sunday. See the dad joke of the day for today's and the best rated so far.
Because a wet forecast goes down easier with a groan. Weather for Dads blends five forecasts into one plain answer, marks every one in public on the accuracy league table, and every morning it comes with a joke.
Five forecasts blended into one plain answer, with every one of them marked in public against what actually happened. Free, no account, no ads.
On Android or a computer, open the app and tap "Add to phone Home Screen": it works like any other app. A Google Play version is on its way.